A moderate addiction may not always be hurtful; but when taken in excess it is nearly always bad for the health.
There are lots of ideas and theories on why, some people have issues with excesses and others do not. People who succeed in life have confidence, and those who do not, make tentative attempts, its like they are not really expecting to succeed, so they need to reward, or punish themselves – people who have problems with excess, whether it is food, alcohol, cigarettes, medication, or another substance generally have one thing in common.
The substance misused is a quick fix and avoids resolving the issue at the root of their problem.
I’ve treated an alcoholic who’s real issue was unrequited love in his teens
Someone who was severely obese – who’s problem was a deep seated fear of starving
Someone with OCD who was afraid of dementia – literally afraid of forgetting
For the obese - food becomes their focus…. It’s a reward used to make them feel better – the trouble is, they eat to make themselves feel better a quick fix but the result is they become fatter so their body image deteriorates and the lower their self esteem because they (and even worse others) view them as weak – so the problem self-perpetuates…. Ever heard of the term spiralling out of control?
The obese person may join a slimming group and lose lots of weight…. They are gaining motivation from other people through shame and reward – I wonder where they first experienced that? They are ashamed if they have not lost weight at the weekly weigh in, and are rewarded by praise and awards if they have…… but as soon as the target weight is reached and they leave the support (discipline) of the group….. the behaviour returns….. something makes them feel bad, incompetent or whatever the trigger is and the original behaviour returns….. Does this sound familiar?….
This is true for people with dependency on all kinds of things…. The problem could be anything from a long forgotten unresolved child-hood issue, through to something went wrong during the day, but what most of them seem to have in common is that they have been conditioned to self-regulate…. They have been taught to reward themselves and shame has been used as a punishment. ….
The way the mind works is on two levels, that, that you need to know to function –and the things that you know automatically. All of the issues surrounding an excess, or compulsion are locked into automatic behaviour and have a trigger. The trouble is that the sufferer and their families are too close to recognise the spiral of behaviour, because their response is automatic. The key is to recognise what is happening; once that hurdle is crossed, a solution can be found. And often the solution is unexpected.
Confidence is the hinge on the door to success
For further information chris@whatsholdingyouback.biz
