There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.
Epictetus

Although it’s a common term lets look at the definition of the word.  Worry is an unconscious process where a person feels anxious or concerned about either a real, or imagined issue -  some people go through their lives worrying about everything, some people don’t seem to worry about anything at all and others may go through periods of their lives where they worry incessantly and then the phase passes and they return to normal ……

I think of worrying as fortune telling, but looking for only negative things to happen.  It is a state of mind - if you’re looking for good things to happen that is what you will find – whereas if you’re expecting negative things, you will overlook the positive things – it’s not that nothing good happens, more that you simply don’t see it because you’re focussed, or pre-occupied - looking for the bad. 

I’m not saying that all worry is bad – it does serve a purpose, and can be healthy - it stops you from doing dangerous things and can prompt you to take control of a situation that you see as risky.  It could serve to save you money, because you will do your research before purchasing an item that you see as important, or, risky and certainly it can promote the production of adrenaline the flight or fight hormone and worriers certainly burn more calories, consequently worriers are often much slimmer than those of us who don’t worry – well that’s my excuse.

There are also different kinds of worry

Future worries - simply worrying about what may, and most probably won’t happen

Present worries – what may go wrong in the present and the suffer often feels helpless

Past worries – worrying about what has happened in the past – to my mind pointless, as you are unable to resolve what has already happened  

There are lots of theories regarding why people worry but it is generally accepted that it is a learned response, rather than a genetic predilection.  If you look at the close families of people who worry excessively you will usually find that a parent or carer is, or was a worrier.

What are the side effects of too much worry?  These are all feelings

• Inability to cope
• Loss of confidence
• Difficulty eating, or sleeping
• Problems with digestion, IBS, diahorrea
• Feeling sick, butterflies
• Anger
• Lack of concentration
• Difficulty in making decisions
• Headaches
• Emotional stress
• Panic attacks
• Lacking energy – get up and go all got up and gone
• problems with immune system
• Health issues

So what can you do, if you worry too much?  … you could:

• Catch yourself in the act - Be aware of when you are worrying and stop yourself… the reward could be half an hour, or an hour a day when you allow yourself to worry.
• Record what you are worrying about, write the details down along with the possibilities, good, bad and indifferent - track the outcome… questions for each worry, such as, could you have handled the event better? was the outcome really worth your time and energy in worrying about it…

Over time you will have collected your own evidence about whether your worries really turn out badly?  And if they do, you will have collected enough confidence in your ability to deal with the effects of the ‘disaster’ and therefore you will trust yourself and build your confidence in the future to be confident  

• Relax -  if you’re unable to relax you could try taking a deep breath to a count of five, and exhaling thoroughly, to a count of ten, repeat this three times- you will be deliberately slowing down your breathing and consequently your blood pressure, your adrenaline will also drop, and the very act of concentrating on something else will stop you from worrying. 

• You could try going back into your memory to a time when you were calm and relaxed and reliving the memory as if you were there now…. What time of the year? What was the weather like? do you remember which day? who was there with you? Were there any aromas/smells associated? You really need to surround yourself in the memory – re-live it as if you were there now….

Worry can also be one of the signs of depression, if you, or someone close worries incessantly you/they may need help.  Contact me to find out how I can help you.  chris@whatsholdingyouback.biz