Confidence & self-esteem

Is something stopping you from trying new things?

You’re right this is a closed question: there are only two possible answers – yes, or no, and both of them really depend upon your level of self-esteem. 

Esteem, comes from the Latin word to estimate and is the standard mechanism that is used to estimate our selves and our abilities, so it follows that those with low self esteem will have difficulty in trying something new.  So how do I know if I have low self esteem? 

The following are aspects of low self esteem:

1. Social withdrawal
2. Anxiety and emotional turmoil
3. Lack of social skills and self confidence. Depression and/or bouts of sadness
4. Eating disorders
5. Inability to accept compliments
6. An Inability to see yourself 'squarely' - to be fair to yourself
7. Exaggerating the negative
8. Exaggerated concern over what other people think
9. Self neglect
10. Treating yourself badly but NOT other people
11. Worrying whether you have treated others badly
12. Reluctance to take on challenges
13. Reluctance to trust your own opinion
14. Low expectations of life for yourself

Do any of the above sound like you? 

·         Would you like to boost your self esteem?

·         Would you like me to help you?  Contact me now chris@whatsholdingyouback.biz

·         Do you need the support of a small group?  Contact me now chris@whatsholdingyouback.biz

·         Do you want to work on it on your own?  If so there are lots of techniques for self-help. 

Whichever you decide to use the following tips should help!

You should build on solid foundations such as

1.    The need to give and receive attention – this can include pets as well as family and friends

2.    Taking care of both your mind and body – pamper yourself when you need to and take time out to have fun.

3.    Having purpose and goals in your life.  These provide structure and help you measure yourself

4.    Making something using your skills for creativity and stimulation

5.    The need for intimacy and connection – we all need a hug sometimes.

6.    Discipline - sense of control – very often it’s the feeling of being out of control that cause issues

7.    The need for a sense of safety and security – if your level of income is low and your home is at risk you lose your safety net and will feel at risk.  Ask for help.

If low self esteem is not the issue; there could be a number of reasons that will potentially stop you trying something new. 

You may feel:

Fear:

       of the unknown: who's going to be there

       of failure – will I be able to learn, perhaps I shouldn’t chance it

       of making yourself look a fool

       of getting lost What if I cant find the venue

       of the facilitator/teacher – what will they be like - will they like me

of not being able to communicate - My Spanish is awful will I be able to understand/make myself understood

Other things to people ask themselves:

Can I find someone to go with?

Am I going to make myself look really stupid?

What about my learning style.... will I be able to learn?

What if it turns out to be different to what I expected - so don't go and then and wonder what you're missing.

Be clear about what you want to do: set yourself goals.  Why do you want to do it? 

Excel – you need to find something that in time you will be really good at.  So what is holding you back?  What are the limiting factors that are stopping you?  If you really don’t know try the following technique.  Take a deep breath hold it for as long as its comfortable and then blow it out thoroughly, breathing out all of your tension; take another deep breath and repeat then take a third deep breath – you will find yourself entering a different state – one of relaxation – now let your mind run free and don’t concentrate too hard on what it is you want to know.  The answer will just pop into your head.

Go on take a deep breath and contact me.  You are just one step away from success: